Why Do I Do This To Myself?
A lot of people struggle with poor body image. They know they do it, they know it’s not good for them, but they don’t know why and don’t seem to be able to stop themselves. Here’s why.
In its origins, poor body image has a positive purpose. It is trying to give you something important. There are a variety of ways this can happen but here is a typical example (for ease of explanation I’ll use a female example, though it is just as relevant for guys too):
- At some point when you were very young, you were still developing as a person, finding your place in the world, and figuring out how to meet your needs.
- You need a social connection, and you desperately wanted to fit in and be accepted.
- You need to feel special and unique, you want to stand out and be admired.
- At some point you also start to want an intimate relationship / partner.
- Based on your beliefs and values, and your understanding of yourself, others, and the world at that age, being pretty seemed the most important ingredient to meeting all of these needs. Everything you were exposed to including TV, magazines, social media, and playground gossip suggested that when you’re pretty people want to hang out with you, you’re seen as important, and you get a boyfriend (or girlfriend).
- How do you know if you’re pretty? Firstly you start comparing yourself to others. And very often you compare yourself to the picture perfect ideals of the latest music star, Hollywood superstars, magazine covers, and Instagram models.
- Secondly, you start looking for reasons why you might NOT be pretty, so that you can fix them. You repeatedly ask yourself questions like “what are my flaws, what’s not pretty about me, what else is wrong?”
- Through repetition, and over time, this behaviour becomes automatic. Before you look in the mirror you ask yourself “how bad are my arms today?” Whilst you’re looking in the mirror, guess what you notice! And then after you’ve finished looking in the mirror, guess what you spend the rest of the day thinking about!
- Things get distorted wildly out of proportion because you’ve trained your brain to focus exclusively on specific things and delete everything else.
Many people believe that if they learn to love and accept themselves that they won’t be motivated to change or improve themselves physically. I’ve talked at length before about the true nature of motivation and why, in fact, the exact opposite is true, so I won’t repeat myself here.
The message of this article is to focus on the core intentions behind the behaviour. In the example above the intentions were to have good quality social connections, to feel special or important, and to have love and intimacy. It’s just that the vehicles you’ve been using to satisfy those needs are based on the beliefs and understanding of a 12 year old. It’s time to find new ways to meet your needs.
Want to know more about working with us?
You can apply for Chase Life with Rachel & David: Get the body transformation you want, and regain your confidence, pride, and peace of mind.
Chase Life has several programs avaliable, women’s only mindset and health coaching program designed to create life long body and life transformations.
If you have struggled with issues including, but not restricted to:
Motivation
Binge eating
Perfectionism/Overanalysing
Emotional eating
Stress
Anxiety
Worry
Overwhelm
Self esteem / confidence
Or if you have struggled to get the body transformation you want and don’t know why, then the Chase Life programs will give you the tools and the environment you need to change yourself and your life.
Chase Life is a training program and results are dependent on how you apply yourself to the program. It is by application only and to qualify you must meet the following criteria:
– be completely committed to personal change
– be coachable – open to feedback and new ways of doing things
– be ready to face confronting challenges
– be ready to work hard on yourself and your personal growth
– be ready to make a significant financial and time investment in yourself
To apply CLICK HERE